Stop Procrastinating and Get Going!
Is there something you have always wanted to do, but are afraid to try? Do you want to make changes in your life, yet have difficulty letting go of the past and unhealthy habits? The key to change and moving forward in life lies within you and no one else. If someone pointed to a prison cell would you willingly enter and lock the door on yourself? Didn't think so.
Anything worth having requires work. If there's something you want in life, be it career advancement, better relationships or better health, you need to be willing to challenge yourself, take calculated risks and make the effort.
Creating change is like a mathematical equation: a different outcome requires changing at least one variable. 2 + 2 = 4. It will never equal 5 or 6 or any other value no matter how many times you try to make it so---at least not in a base 10 system. People gravitate toward the known and the familiar, even when it's unbearable and no longer viable. Most of the time real change requires planning and effort.
Many of us hesitate or choose not to pursue goals and dreams that would enrich the quality of our lives, even when these aspirations are well within reach. What holds you back? Some common obstacles are complacency, perceived barriers, poor sense of efficacy and fear. Fear is perhaps the greatest barrier to pursuing our goals and dreams. We create cognitive distortions and defenses to maintain our personal and professional fears.
A cognitive distortion is a defense mechanism that protects you from the anxiety of the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown and fear in general. Cognitive distortions act as obstacles to achieving our goals. We limit ourselves by adhering to them rather than challenging them. Most defenses protect our anxieties rather than ourselves from real or imagined dangers. They stop us from living life to its fullest potential, while keeping our fears alive and well.
It could be that on some level we're afraid of attaining what we want most in life, which is why we frequently self-sabotage our own efforts. We make choices that contradict what it is we say we want.
Why is there so much ambivalence and resistance to change, even when it's desired? What would happen if we actually get what we think we want? It might not be quite what we expected (i.e., it doesn't live up to our fantasies or expectations) or it might not be what you wanted after all or it just might make you happy. Nevertheless, change requires gaining awareness, making different choices, taking risks and changing behaviors, which can be challenging for most of us.
Oftentimes, we're afraid of being hurt, failing and the related feelings that accompany these two conditions: shame, loss and feeling like we're not "good enough." It can be difficult to get out of our own way for these reasons.
There are many other cognitive distortions (e.g., "should-ing" all over yourself, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, minimization, arrogance, etc.) They have the same result; they maintain our fears and act as deterrents in taking action and making changes in ourselves and our lives.
Essentially, if you're having difficulty pursuing your goals or making changes in your life, you need to examine your fears and concerns. Discuss them with a friend or trusted confidante. Alternatively, if you would like a more structured approach, consider using the My Virtual Shrink program.
Bottom line: The only person who can take you where you want to go is you. You may find help along the way, but you have to take those first steps.
Posted at 12:23 PM, January 04, 2010 by My Virtual Shrink | Category: Taking Charge
2 Comments
#1: Posted by Junior at 2:02 PM, January 04, 2010:
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Great content! Really interesting. I will be following this blog from now on. Thanks. |
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#2: Posted by Melly at 12:54 PM, January 19, 2010:
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I wish I could do something aobut my procrastination. It's killing me. This is interesting though. |
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