How to Make Successful New Year's Resolutions
New Year's resolutions are often the seeds of annual recrimination and regret. We resolve to lose weight, to quit smoking, to have better relationships and lead new and improved lives. Three months later, most of us are still overweight, smoking, unhappy or frustrated and wonder where we went astray when we had the best on intentions on December 31st.
New Year's resolutions are often the seeds of annual recrimination and regret. We resolve to lose weight, to quit smoking, to have better relationships and lead new and improved lives. Three months later, most of us are still overweight, smoking, unhappy or frustrated and wonder where we went astray when we had the best on intentions on December 31st.
Lasting change is takes real effort over time. It's rarely a simple matter of switching dating services, buying nicotine gum or eating more fruits and veg. Real change happens when we consistently make different choices, particularly in the face of opposition. It's not easy. It's tough breaking old habits and attitudes, even when we want to do so. Many times we know we're choosing an old, counterproductive behavior instead of a new behavior that would yield the positive change we desire, and yet we still do it. It's almost like being possessed.
Here are some reasons New Year's resolutions frequently fail and how you can avoid the common mistakes most people make:
- Instant gratification. Many of us become discouraged when we don't experience immediate results. We want to be thin tomorrow. We want a great relationship right now. We want a successful career overnight. This is why it's good to set "mini-resolutions" that lead to achieving a larger resolution. For example, if you're goal is to save more money, begin with educating yourself about different savings accounts programs. Then look at your weekly and monthly expenses and see what you can cut, etc. This way you'll feel good about achieving these smaller changes, which will help encourage you to keep working toward your larger resolution.
- Planning. Many of us resolve to make changes, but don't come up with a structured plan for how to do so. This is related to the previous item. You're more likely to successfully achieve your resolution(s) if you have a very clear road map of how you're going to get there.
- Lone wolf. Many people make the mistake of going it alone when working on a resolution. Never underestimate the importance of a good support system. Find a resolution buddy who'll work on their resolutions with you or a structured program through which you can track your progress. Sometimes all it takes is someone to be accountable to, a little encouragement and moral support to stay on track.
- Feeling deprived. Why do most of resolutions revolve around restriction and deprivation? "Eat less. Stop doing this. Work harder at that. Give up x, y and z." Feeling deprived or bored can lead to abandoning one's resolutions. In addition to the usual resolutions of achievement and self-improvement, why not make some resolutions to take better care of yourself, make time to relax and enjoy life, friends and family more or take up a new hobby or interest to balance out the others? Having health enhancing resolutions is admirable and often necessary, but it's equally important to resolve to be kinder to yourself and have fun along the way.
Happy New Year!
Posted at 5:23 PM, December 29, 2009 by My Virtual Shrink | Category: Holiday Stress
5 Comments
#1: Posted by Hilda Morgan at 1:41 AM, December 30, 2009:
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If someone is suffering severe depression and is short of money, would a gift of a million dollars cure them |
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#2: Posted by JamesV at 5:17 AM, December 30, 2009:
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Hilda, I doubt it. Not all sadness is money based or can be cured with money. Some of the saddest people I know are rich by pretty much anyone's standards. |
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#3: Posted by Amy at 8:02 AM, January 04, 2010:
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I hope my resolutions stick this year! |
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#4: Posted by Dagny at 12:35 PM, January 04, 2010:
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I always do this. I resolve to give things up, work harder, be better, be more productive, which is all well and good. I agree with the author. Its just as important to recognize what's working in my life, build on it and take better care of myself instead of always trying to push myself harder. |
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#5: Posted by Todd29 at 11:39 AM, January 10, 2010:
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For many people, being overweight is associated with being uncomfortable in their own skin. To assist with weight control, every time the urge to snack if felt , first drink a large glass of clear water. This simple act will help you to eat less. Water will soon become one of your best friends. The major reason so many people in America are overweight is because we eat too much for comfort! It does not hurt to treat ourselves with something special once in a while, what is necessary is that we limit our portions and do not overeat! It is also necessary to keep our body properly hydrated, so drink a full glass of water with each meal or snack. Being overweight ******, but after reading a book, I lost 85 pounds! Words can not express how good I feel! This is a comment which I recently received about the book Lose Weight Using Four Easy Steps |
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